Emotional Affairs
This lady meets a "totally beguiling guy" who works in a
similar field as her. He helps her with a project; they start e-mailing, then phoning, having long talks over drinks. Thing is, she has a boyfriend. He has a wife. They're not having sex. Are they having an affair?
Hey, we're not made of wood -- what's wrong with a crush? A good example will be that of this female bartender who had a
flirtation with a guy at the restaurant. "But it was part of the work environment, and No Touching was
clearly the rule. Outside of work she didn't give him a second thought -- but the extra dose of feeling attractive actually helped her relationship with her boyfriend." - This is a typical scenario.
But No Touching doesn't always mean Harmless Flirting. Another scenario : "I had a close relationship with a married man: late-night calls, meaningful lunches, intense sharing," "A male friend said, 'If you're not having sex, there's nothing wrong with it.'"
Actually, say experts, there's plenty wrong. "It doesn't matter that 'it could be worse,'" . "There's deception going on." That's the risk of a seemingly harmless affair: The more you rationalize that it's okay, the more it escalates, and the more you're compelled to hide. "You wind up depending on the other person more for daily peaks and perks, and that sucks the love away from you and your partner."
What's toxic about an emotional affair is exactly what distinguishes it from a fleeting, fun crush: secrecy. "The number one way to know if you're having an emotional affair is if you're hiding it from your partner," and I truly believe in this.
similar field as her. He helps her with a project; they start e-mailing, then phoning, having long talks over drinks. Thing is, she has a boyfriend. He has a wife. They're not having sex. Are they having an affair?
Hey, we're not made of wood -- what's wrong with a crush? A good example will be that of this female bartender who had a
flirtation with a guy at the restaurant. "But it was part of the work environment, and No Touching was
clearly the rule. Outside of work she didn't give him a second thought -- but the extra dose of feeling attractive actually helped her relationship with her boyfriend." - This is a typical scenario.
But No Touching doesn't always mean Harmless Flirting. Another scenario : "I had a close relationship with a married man: late-night calls, meaningful lunches, intense sharing," "A male friend said, 'If you're not having sex, there's nothing wrong with it.'"
Actually, say experts, there's plenty wrong. "It doesn't matter that 'it could be worse,'" . "There's deception going on." That's the risk of a seemingly harmless affair: The more you rationalize that it's okay, the more it escalates, and the more you're compelled to hide. "You wind up depending on the other person more for daily peaks and perks, and that sucks the love away from you and your partner."
What's toxic about an emotional affair is exactly what distinguishes it from a fleeting, fun crush: secrecy. "The number one way to know if you're having an emotional affair is if you're hiding it from your partner," and I truly believe in this.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home