Emotional Affairs

This lady meets a "totally beguiling guy" who works in a
similar field as her. He helps her with a project; they start e-mailing, then phoning, having long talks over drinks. Thing is, she has a boyfriend. He has a wife. They're not having sex. Are they having an affair?

Hey, we're not made of wood -- what's wrong with a crush? A good example will be that of this female bartender who had a
flirtation with a guy at the restaurant. "But it was part of the work environment, and No Touching was
clearly the rule. Outside of work she didn't give him a second thought -- but the extra dose of feeling attractive actually helped her relationship with her boyfriend." - This is a typical scenario.

But No Touching doesn't always mean Harmless Flirting. Another scenario : "I had a close relationship with a married man: late-night calls, meaningful lunches, intense sharing," "A male friend said, 'If you're not having sex, there's nothing wrong with it.'"

Actually, say experts, there's plenty wrong. "It doesn't matter that 'it could be worse,'" . "There's deception going on." That's the risk of a seemingly harmless affair: The more you rationalize that it's okay, the more it escalates, and the more you're compelled to hide. "You wind up depending on the other person more for daily peaks and perks, and that sucks the love away from you and your partner."

What's toxic about an emotional affair is exactly what distinguishes it from a fleeting, fun crush: secrecy. "The number one way to know if you're having an emotional affair is if you're hiding it from your partner," and I truly believe in this.

My Friday

I had such a long day today, all the mad dash. Managed to rush out my weekly report that has got to be submitted every friday at 4pm, there's a penalty for those who submitted late. They would have to pick up the tab for all the snacks during our weekly meeting. I'm always at the losing end, reason being that I don't normally get to eat what's on the conference table. Can't they buy more healthy stuffs like sandwiches or something???? Arghh....it was swiss roll and egg tarts for today but I did not succumb to the temptations...i did voice-out my grievances during the meeting and all my fellow colleagues were kind enough to listen and assure me that I will see sandwiches on that table for next week meeting...I seriously like working with my fellow colleagues and I think it is very important to have a good working environment. Many would agree with me.

Went to catch a show earlier, the Japanese horror movie 'Seance'. It was a total disaster! Waste of my time and money, that's my take on it. I would rather catch a Chinese movie if I have known better, and trust me, I don't watch Chinese movies so this is really bad enough for me to do just that. Stef, if you are reading this, you can forget about watching when you come back, I rather you pay and watch me..haha. I can give you discount even. It's the great Singapore sale! Speaking of the devil, I missed my Club 21 private sale yesterday and what a pity...my bosses went and it was really a good deal for all club 21 members, though the sale is now open to the public but I will not get those additionals anymore. Darn.

More comments?

I do understand the meaning of 'it's over' but there are just some things that can't be forgotten and simply not fade away. I am being stubborn, I know and those of you who are reading this would probably tell me that 'it is all in the head': You either choose to let go and move on or stay to suffer. Can I say that I'm in the middle of it? Many would not understand the meaning of 'Unconditional Love'. But I'm doing fine, seriously I am. I'm not breaking down, crying on someone's shoulder or enaging in some foolish acts, I'm in fact enjoying every single bit of my life. I would truly think that jacq (1st ex-gf) is a dark shadow cast in my life, it is always there, standing behind me and one day it will go away, I believe it will but it will take time....a long time.

I wasn't home yesterday night, spent the night at phyllis's place. We caught a movie and it was a hassle to travel all way back to the east so she offered for me to sleep over for the night and of coz I would gladly obliged. Felt like the times when we were together, I would be the first to shower and head straight to bed while she will do all her mundane chores before she gets to the bed. It's good that we maintain a mutual understanding with one another, we were close but not physically close, and I actually like it that way. I would definitely not want to come in between she and her boyfriend. I've control the emotional bug and I'm glad.

Woman's Card

I received the DBS woman's card today. Very impressive indeed, a different touch from the gold or classic cards that other banks offer. It gives the sophiscated, elegance feel and I realized I quite like it though I actually refused to apply for it when DBS called me initially. Platinum privileges really, cab discounts though I don't need it already but I'm very sure someone would need it badly. That's one of the reason why my main card came with another supplementary card that embossed her name. She would need it more than I do: Taxis. The only form of transport she would take. Good for her as she can save a little money every now and then. She has probably got most of my cards now, come to think about it, I'm seriously nice to her. Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing either, I can never seem to break that line of mine.

The Village Hotel

Just got back home not long ago, went for a spin earlier. Was driving past Changi Village and I saw 'Le Meridien' hotel. It's no longer the old run down hotel, it has been renamed to 'Village hotel' and it has been given a total face-lift.

I can consider myself being a hotelier as checking into hotels has been my expensive hobby. Curiosity kills the cat, so I wasted no time, parked my car in front of the lobby and went down to check out the new place. The whole feel I got from the hotel? Excellent! This is totally like a getaway, far from the city and you can expect tranquil and idyllic neighborhood with a sandy beach and golf course nearby. But of cos, please do not a white sandy beach because singapore can never have nice beaches...haha. I was impressed by the lounge, more so of the decor and the combination of colors they used. I would relatively compare that to the lounge at Swiss Hotel the Stamford, it is almost on PAR! I took the lift up, knowing me, the first thing that would come to my mind would be the swimming pool. It was gorgeous, Balinese style yet with a touch of contemporary sense. I immediately want to strip and jump into the pool but I can't. I knew I had to stay to feel more....haha. My next step: I booked a room, checking in on Sunday and out on Monday. Though it's half a day for me because I will have to work on monday but I didn't mind. Don't want to crash in with the crowd on a weekend but then again, it is so very new, I doubt not many people actually know about this. I didn't realize until I drove past....so...hmm. Anyway, I know I'm going to enjoy my stay.

The Ex-FIle

Can we be good friends with our ex-girlfriends/boyfriends?

I'm afraid to say that I can and I cannot. Very contradicting I know. I'm in contact with my ex-gfs to a certain extend but I would not say that we are the best of friends. We don't hang out as often or probably only for lunch, that one short hour of meeting in like once in a month or sometimes it could be for months.

My ex-gf, let's just call her 'P'. She wants me to be her friend, still staying in her life. She wants to hang out, do things together like the buddies sort, I'm not too sure how I would take it. I still feel for her I guess, and it is hard to be friends when you still have that emotional bug clinging onto you. Don't you agree?

I don't want to remain aloof and distant though I was previously and I sorta regretted my actions. It killed the fire in her.

I must say, I'm quite a soft-hearted person by nature but I was indeed cold-hearted when I ended it with her. And now, I have got the soft spot for her though she is with someone already, happily contented with her love, her man. I was too late, just too late.

We are friends and we should be but...friends in a different context maybe.

Will Power

I realized I have got very strong will power, my trainer commented me on that. And with that, you can push yourself to the highest heights over everybody or anybody. You can have the strength to rock the cradle and create miracles. A good example would be what happened yesterday at the gym. I was on my cross trainer machine as usual and did my 30 minutes of warming up. As the timer reaches the 30th minute, I realized I was still going on...I thought to myself, perhaps I can do another 30minutes, making it One hour in total. I've never done one hour straight on a cardio machine before and the thought of breaking the record would be highly satisfying. I was panting and sweating, whole body's wet and hot but the sensation was too good to stop and it has always been me to hit the goal I set for myself. I eventually finished my challenge for myself. Summary of the workout was still vividly embedded on my head. Calories Burned: 900. Distance traveled: 5.2km. Heartrate: 112. I walked down the machine with a air of arrogance, I'm proud and I know it.

That wasn't the end, personal training awaits me at 9pm. I walked briskly towards him wasting no time, one hour of cross trainer would be nothing compared to one hour with my trainer. The agenda for yesterday training would be adominals. One whole hour on all sorts of adominals exercise, he seriously pushed me to the maximum. I'm glad, honestly I am even though I'm all burned out but that's the point of enaging a trainer because I can never do all that by myself...Well, maybe I could. I'm talking about Will Power here...hmm..

Soul Mate

I'm away from work today, woke up having extreme pain around my adominals, must be due to the monthlys once more. Went to the doc, took a jab and now here on my thoughts.

Two little words. One big concept. A belief that someone, somwhere, is holding the key to your heart and dream house. All you have to do is to find them. So where is this person? And if you love someone and it didn't work out, does that mean they weren't your soul mate?

I once found my soul mate, someone who plays a universal role in my life. She was my friend, lover, family and enemy to one point..ha. Is she still one? Been thinking alot these days, someone highlighted certain issues to me that kept my brains on it till now. Have I really move on? The fact that I'm still keeping her finance on my 'To-do-list' means I don't want 'out'? It's almost two years from the break-up and since, I act as her 'personal assistant' still. Personal Assistant: One who pays monthly mobile phone bills, check credit card status, pays monthly statement....etc. It has been like that when we were together and even now that we are no longer having the 'in-a-relationshp' status. Maybe I would really move on if I stop doing all these mundane chores for her. Probably that's one of the reason why am I always unfair to those whom i dated. I'm carrying a stone with me all the time, that's why.

Writing from home

It sure feels good on sunday, always a lazy day where you take every pace slow and easy. Planned to bring my brother and my sister out for brunch later and probably go for a afternoon swim. The rest of the day would be lazing around at home till I meet my friends for coffee in the evening.

I caught this movie yesterday, a chinese one. I'm not one who will watch a mandarin movie but shrek 2 was sold out so I would have to settle for a second best. 'The Best Bet' another movie by Jack Neo, our local director and producer was yet another comedy but a comedy with lots of philosophy behind. It talks about gambling, very much on 4D and how so many Singaporeans were so obsessed with it. I'm very sure my brother and sister learned a lesson after the show and it's good for them, it can be quite educational in certain aspects though it was mainly translated in 'Hokkien'.

Talking about gambling, I'm quite guilty about it. A couple of months back, I was so addicted to Batam, to the extend I can probably apply for a PR due to my regular visit. Only lost one time and that was my last trip ever since the recent weekend. That one time was quite a blow to my finance, I shall not reveal the figure...hee. My couple friends are still pretty much active in the Batam scene, my fault actually; I was the one who introduced them to that 'Lobang' so called. But they have been winning, they probably only lost 1 out of the 10 times. Don't mind going there once in awhile to earn some extra income but not over doing it is the trick. I'm practicing some self-control here and I'm doing well so far so keep it up I would say.

The Day After Tomorrow

This movie, I watched it last night. Some sort of the world coming to an end, somewhere along that line. Very dramatic and good sound effect I must say. Its brings out the anticipation of the audience not knowing what will happen. And the anxiety of it all makes it even more exciting. It's warm, warm in the sense that it emphasis on love, family love, lover's love and the courage to brave through danger for the one you care. I was touched, simply because one of the male character went back for the love of his life ignoring any risk of danger that was arising. That scene was touching, makes me wonder exactly how many of us would actually do that. Very self-sacrificing indeed. What would you do if the world is ending?

Me, a country pumkin?

Can't remember when was the last time I took a ride on the train or a bus. I started on my own transport the moment I got my driver's. Prior to that, it has always been the yellow-top cab.

I had to go to plaza Singapore to run some errands earlier during lunch. Knowing me, I wouldn't want to walk or waste my money on petrol/erp/parking charges...It is just not worth the money hence I decided to take a bus. The trip there was cool, but it was the return that was quite a disaster. Firstly, I had to purchase a EZlink card which I did, next I was confused by all the different signs and colors of the board though it was all in English. It's kinda complicated for a first-timer like me I guess. So I approached the ticketing office and asked for help. I should really comment on our service here in Singapore, we have got quite many friendly and helpful citizens. I got some advice from the officer and finally after some musing, I board the train and head back to Orchard. It may be a simple task for any singaporean here but it was sure a feat for me.

I miss my blog

Finally, I can get to write again. I must have felt handicapped over the past few days without logging online. Well, I finally got my computer fixed and my cable running so I don't have to be so dependent on my internet in the office.

No more shopping for me, and I shall keep to it. I bought another top from Armani yesterday, couldn't resist the temptation and was lured to it. Should practise some self-control. Tell me more about it boi, have been indulging in my pastries at Frankel as well. This place, Bakery Depot serves excellent cakes and pastries, my favourite would be the chocolate almond bar. All their items freshly baked and made on a daily basis, they do not keep them overnight. No more chocolates, cheese-cakes or whatsoever for the next few weeks! More training to keep me occupied...haha.

As I was driving this morning, my usual radio station would be Class 95 and the topic of the morning was....'Why do women/men wander in the arms of another when they already got one'. Many calls came in and they discussed about the topic. My take on it: They do not love their partner enough to stay on to them. If someone ever wanders away, he/she should realise perhaps that the love is not strong enough to withstand temptations thus resulting to what we call a 'triangle' relationship. There's afew stages in a relationship. 1 - The honeymoon 2 - The quarrelsome period 3 - The temptations 4 - The stabilization. I definitely know of people who follow this trend. And the moment you passed on to the 4th stage, that's when you call the 'special someone' 'THE ONE'. I once been through that, but mine would be slightly different. I had the first stage then the third followed by the second, a switch for the second and third but I did not managed to survive through the quarrelsome stage. Sadly to say, that got the better of what I call my 'perfect relationship' with her.