Tuesday

Just got back from my movie date, got off slightly earlier than usual from work...told my colleagues I had something urgent to attend, and the urgent thingy is to watch a 'Movie'...haha. Watched the Longest Yard with June, she had to be there earlier to reserve the seats as it was a free seating thingy, we got pretty good seats though. It was a jolly good show, very motivating indeed. Talked about team spirit, the need to be united to achieve goals in life..though it was all about football but the principles applied are all the same.

We went for a bite and tour round marina square after the movie, it was a accidental tour because we sorta got lost while looking for the restroom. Yes, believe or not, we got lost. Marina Square is now like a maze, doesn't looked like MS anymore. It is a complete facelift, gonna go back there again, nice place to hang around and chill.

Gonna be real busy in the coming week ahead, four days of roadshow during the convention...there goes my weekend. But June has it all planned out for me, she's like the personal assistant, but without any renumeration. Supposed to spend the weekend with her but due to my work schedule, I can only allocate the night slot for her on sat...probably will go chill out at some place..with some nice music and with a cup of coffee, that will settle it. There's so many things we planned to do, hopefully we can get to execute it.

1. Cut my hair on monday for tuesday's party (Next week) (That is if I can get off work on time on mon)
2. Go Thumper with June on tuesday night.
3. Go ECP to chill and cycle....dunno which day....
4. Mahjong?
5. June will take leave on my birthday and celebrate. (I probably will take half a day off)
6. Many up-and-coming impromptus....

Now I see June more than I see my parents...good thing we stay far away from each other else I guess it could be worse...haha.

Health is wealth but without wealth, you can't have health as well. I was at GNC earlier and spent a bomb on all the supplements for healthier living. I reckon that I wouldn't have time for gym in the near future, so all these supplements shall act as a replacement for my energy booster. Here's the list:

1) CoQ-10: Helps support heart and blood vessel function (This brings more oxygen flow to the brain, helps me to think faster and reduce fatigue)

2) Fish Body Oils 1000: Helps joint flexibility

3) Alpha Lipoic Acid 100: Improve skin and helps repair broken cells.

4) Woman's Ultra Mega: This is a very powerful multi-vitamin, the most comprehensive woman's formula available. Not only it is good in building blood, transporting oxygen and is involved in energy utilization and muscle function. This pill play a role in the maintenance of normal homocysteine levels important to cardiovascular health. This is the best of the best I would say, and the most expensive.

I'm working in a pretty highly intense environment and I reckon all these supplements will do me good. Stress management is one key component in my life, that I have to manage well.

I ended up sleeping the whole afternoon today, Cartel have to watch her movie with someone else. Told her I shall make it up to her next time. Will play by ear first. Got to go to bed early today, meeting at 8.30 tomorrow, kinda early I know but I don't have a choice. A long day tomorrow, there's department dinner as well...gonna go Fish & Co. Gdnight.

It's Sunday again, the only day I can sleep without my mobile phone snoozing away...I realise I will always check my mobile phone the moment I can gain my consiciousness. It has became a unknowingly routine. Cartel messaged, early in the morning. A movie date she asked. I've yet to respond. The last time when I watch a movie was with my ex-girlfriend and it was 'Fantastic Four'...let me see, perhaps about one month plus ago. Movie used to be my thing, always making sure I would go catch a show at least once a week. I wonder how much have I've spent on movies for the past one year already...

I've got a movie date with June on the coming tuesday. It's free, she always gets tickets as she works in the media, one thing good for sure. Hopefully I can get off work on time else she probably have to go in the cinema alone for sure. Coming back to Cartel, still thinking whether to meet her....think I better go and bath first and decide when I have a clearer mind.

Fatigue

I'm exhausted...fell right onto my bed and knocked out completely. My eyes were like falling the whole morning, sleep is so very important in my life now. Just woke up, time for dinner....haven't had anything the whole day and I'm not even complaining. My workaholic self seems to re-surface on planet earth again, Suntec is now my second home.

June flew off this morning, if I didn't had to work, I would go send her off at the airport but anyway gonna see her real soon again. She's on the night flight home tomorrow, am comtemplating to pick her up...

Cartel msg again, wanting to meet up tonight. I've rejected her, kinda disappointing for her. Wrong timing, I've arranged mahjong tonight already...gonna play through the night once more...hopefully win some extra cash as well. Alrighty, gonna go for my dinner now and onto to mahjong quest, til later.

This got to be a pretty long entry I reckon. Late nights for the past days...mahjong, hanging out, chilling...Just got home not long ago, a good day today. Let's start off from the morning.

Morning: I got into my quality control manager's good books, he stood up for me today. Looks like he has got good vibes about me. I felt like I've been protected...haha. He warned everyone, kinda fierce actually, in the direction of my another colleague who's also a manager.

Moses (QC manager): Tricia, please make sure that no one is rude to Jasmine, she is part of the management.

Tricia (The manager): Yes, Moses. I shall see to it.

Jasmine (The on-probation-manager): Smiles to herself.

Here's the situation, Moses is one of the pioneer in the company, he can be considered the right hand to my GM or President. He call the shots in the company as well though he is a quality control Manager, he has the respect of many. We have got quite many managers in the company in charge of different projects and campaigns. Though all are managers but all different status in rank. This is something new to me, I've got to quickly blend into their system.

Lunch: I went out lunch alone today, wanted to walk around and do some window-shopping, making a list of things I can buy when I get my first pay cheque which is coming soon...I stepped into Crystal jade bakery and wanted to get a spring-roll, didn't wanna have too heavy of a meal for lunch. And guess what, I queue for quite awhile and when it got to my turn, sold out. The last two spring-rolls were bought by the lady who stood in front of me. I was kinda disappointed for a split second and the unexpected happened. The lady gave up one of her spring-roll and sold it to me, such an angel. Kinda make my day, there are still good people in Singapore!

Night: By the time I walked out of my office, it is already nightfall. Went over to Dome for coffee with June, wanted to go home to rest actually, but willing to sacrifice on her sake as she has got juicy stories to tell me. So we went on and on....

So from Dome, we ended up at her office. June works in MTV so you can expect a very 'MTV' style office. Impressive office I must say, better than mine. Nice place to hang out too! They have got a pretty spacious chill-out lounge where there's snooker table, games and even vending machine! Free flow of beverages of your choice, I must say, they are very generous on staff-welfare. June gave me a little gift, though it is nothing expensive but I seriously like it alot. Kinda cool actually, it's a notebook with sound effect. I shan't go into details because I don't exactly know how to go about saying it, all I have to say is, it has a 'moo-ing' sound...haha. Interesting isn't it? I shall bring this book for all my meetings in future, so I can moo people whenever they say something wrong....hahaa.

Another day has passed and I've spent it meaningfully.

Speaking of which, someone just sms me. A rare visitor, hmm....

Hint: Cafe cartel...(June will know who...)

Goodnight.

It's Monday and there's no monday blues, for the very first time, I felt once more the 'Old' me. I used to be very career minded and very 'on the ball' type of person but I've slacked for the past one year. It's time to get myself on track, ever since I got my new post, I feel as if everyday's a new day for me. Things are changing in my life, be it for work or personal. Though I still get the lingering feeling every once awhile but I managed to put it at the back of my head. Work is really one avenue which can put anyone off things. A good way to keep one-self occupied.

I've got two lesbian colleagues at my work place and they asked me to go clubbing at this 'gay-like' place, I'm still hesistant about it. Think I would rather go with June, least I feel more comfortable with her. I come to realise that anything in life can be so fragile, things happened when you least expected it. :)

Darn it, it's 9.06pm already and I am late...alright, got to go off now.

My only rest day...

It's Sunday and my only rest day, just woke up not long ago...feel like sleeping more, the weather puts me in the mood. Maybe I'll just go east coast and chill, bring along my favourite book and with a Ice-blended caramel, that should do the trick.

Forgot to mention about mahjong in my entry earlier the day, I made June lost some money during the game, feeling so guilty now. I'll help win it back the next time round alright or you'll share and sit next to me...haha. Not that I'm an expert, but I paid my school-fees and learnt my lessons...you know what I mean ya.

Saw my friend at the opening yesterday, she was one of the models we enaged from the agency, kinda surprised to see her, didn't know she became a model. A different her. Everyone was kinda surprised that I know her as well...and started asking questions...looks like she captured everyone's attention yesterday.

Sudden craving for mee hoon soto now...June just msg me saying she will volunteer to go with me to find my mee hoon soto...yeah...gonna go bath now and pick her up...til then.

Yet to sleep for the past 24 hours, this must be my earliest entry ever. Just got home 10 minutes ago, I officially annouced my brain-dead at this moment.

Work: Four major events today.

1. Our big boss's birthday
2. Our banks' conference
3. Celebration of the new office at suntec
4. Soft launch / preview of our multi-million dollar project

Many guests turned up at our office, the press, the media, people from the banks, business associates, family members and friends. It was indeed a big event and everything went on as planned.

Personal:

I went off slightly earlier and met June to do some shopping and coffee at the same time. Surprisingly we click so well upon our second meeting. We talked about many things, about work, about relationship, about life and the list goes on...She gives me a sense of belonging when I am with her, I feel stronger emotionally. She's gonna make a very good friend. We sat at coffee bean and with a ice-blended coffee, we started ranting away...for hours we didn't even realised! More to go in future, way to go June. (If you are reading, please go sleep now...it is very late already...haha) Gdnight!

Morning: My leg hurts so badly, my pointed shoes giving me problems again. My mum called it the 'Witch' shoes...haha.

Afternoon: I had ceral and biscuits for lunch, stayed in the office to go through some reports to get a better understanding of the past year's sales. My GM complimented me, saying I'm a fast learner!

Night: Mum cooked a feast today, in fact she cooked many dishes everyday but today's Audrey's birthday so we had abalone! Have to go out soon in the next 15 minutes, think am going to sleep late tonight.

Quote of the day: 'Qiu de bu qu, xin de bu lai' (In chinese han yu ping yin la)

Another busy day it had been, no time for casual talk like old times. We are not allowed to bring in our mobile phone during working hours expect during lunch time, this is one of the company's rule. It's good in a way, keep my minds off things. Only focus on work, and solely on work! Time to change my mobile phone plan since I don't exactly need to talk on the mobile phone anymore. In fact, I wanna cancel my line coz soon I will not need it anymore. Will definately miss the line, been using this number for years...There's a certain attachment for anything that's been with you for awhile.

I spoke to someone today, for a good one hour. Her voice definately do not go along with her looks, haha. Kinda expected a lower and serious tonality but in fact she sounded bubbly like a little girl. She looks like the full of attitude sort, the no-nonsense type...You probably will use the word 'Cool' on her. Gonna meet her tomorrow to go to work together, it seems kinda funny. So much for the first meeting, taking the train...hopefully there will be seats for us, hate to stand and squeeze together with the morning crowd.

I just got back from work today, a very fulfilling day it had been. I was officially introduced to all the family members at my new office, everyone seems so friendly and nice, guess that's what usually happened at the beginning. I like my working environment, everyone seems so commited and I can sense a very strong team spirit when I was there. Made a new friend, she's from the admin department. Was kinda surprised when she came and talked to me, guess perhaps she's just being friendly or maybe there might be more to it...haha.

We went for lunch together and despite talking to each other for the very first time, we shared many 'sensitive issues' which shouldn't be bought up when you only know one and other just. I'm starting to suspect that she might belongs to the same catergory as I am. My intuition is always right. Will find out more tomorrow and update again.

Once again, this might be life I should be leading. I've cut off from the world for the past one year, seems like I've lost touch with the society and I'm glad I'm out again now. Life is good once again.

It suddenly occur to me that life is like a book. When there's a beginning, there's always an end. I've bought many books, enough to last me for quite sometime for now.

The moment you open the book, there's this form of excitement to what's coming ahead...you wanna know how it begins and moving forward, you will sink in deeper to the story plot, the anticipation of what's next kinda keeps you in suspend and you don't to put the book down for even one second. One thing for sure, no matter how thick or big the book is, there's always a 'The End' or in some cases, a second season. One chapter closed and here comes another, even for books, we need a form of closure, and that closure comes from knowing what's the end of the story, let alone human beings. I don't know whether I've got my closure or perhaps I'm still searching or in denial. There's still this little trace of spark in my heart for something I hope will happen but even if it does, it will take awhile.

There will definately be somethings which I can't bear to leave behind, at least for now and in the near future, that's what's my heart is feeling.

I met an old friend today. Seems like we only catch up when times that I'm single, I'm feeling guilty already. She mentioned about courage today. We starting going on and on...on that subject. It takes alot of courage to walk out of any relationship and lot more courage to face it. So who's the one without courage? No point pointing fingers to anyone now I guess. My life seems clearer now, without any mist. Family members will always be there when you need them, unconditional love without fail. This message has been drilled into my brain once again, each time after an upsetting incident. Moving forward, alot more things in life to catch up with...New responsibilities on my new job, this should be the direction I am heading.

Drove past a showflat along east coast today, can't help but to pop in for a look. It was so beautiful, close to my dream apartment I've been looking for. My friend sat me down and start calculating the dollars and cents, very typical of her as she's a auditor..haha. It is a very worthwhile deal, I might start investing in a property now since the price is so relatively low compared to years back. My elder sister showed some signs of interest in sharing and if she does, it's all good news for me. God is fair, to certain extend. He will take away some things from you and replace with others. I've no complaints for now. I've learnt my lesson and will not ever repeat history once more.

After 1 year and 1 week, we finally split up and went our own ways. The fire in her heart wasn't burning enough for her. Only if we could of worked somthing out. But oh well thats life.

The opposite of mature spiritual love that openly accepts and embraces the other person is possessiveness, or desire to break down the spirit of the other person so that they can be one's own. The opposite of strong emotional bonding is indifference. The opposite of desire for the other person is revulsion for the other person. The opposite of trust is fear; the opposite of cherishing is hatred. It's possible for a woman so romantically and hate or fear at the same time. Love and hate both require passion. It is some sort of feeling, that is why in many deep loving relationships the end is often stormy. Your passion moves from love to hate. You can't feel the passion of hate if you just didn't care about the person at all. You'd feel indifferent.
Take it or leave it. In our world now people have fears for all kinds of complex reasons. Because the world is so complex. Simplicity is what everyone's searching for, if only things could be as simple as it seems, sometimes what you see is not what you get.

I suffer a major blow some years back and was determine to get a grip of myself and move on, despite that, I'm once thrown back to another similiar situation now and I got hit, got hit real badly. I'm trying to pick up the pieces that were left behind, looking back at those times, images of the past start flashing by....as if like a roller coaster. Friends who are around me gave advices, it is always easier said than done isn't it. But I guess, I will be emotional or physically stronger after this incident, standing up twice as high as I did before for I believe perhaps one day she will realise, a wrong call she's made.